Into the Garden

Toy Story 3 Characters: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

The best new character of Toy Story 3 was Chuckles the Angry Clown. http://bit.ly/9G6c8L That's right, I said the angry clown stole the spotlight in this amazing third installment of the Toy Story franchise. I have very few criticisms about the deep and enjoyable plot of Toy Story 3, or any of its memorable characters. But of the new additions, many of them are old stereotypes that are almost too easy to please. A Ken doll who loves clothing and is kind of prissy? My sister and I were making that joke in 1986. And even then we knew he was a turncoat schmuck. The cutesy cuddle bear being an angry Southern gentleman? I saw it in Fletch Lives. As a matter of fact, I think Hal Holbrook was even strawberry scented in the movie. Big Baby seemed to be a direct riff on the giant baby in Spirited Away--the large baby who acts as a henchman, but is really an impressionable and sensitive tender heart. And that symbol-clapping monkey? Lived in my nightmares for years, staring at me from the depths of my closet, hidden under blankets.

But Chuckles the Angry Clown is a little different. His angry mug was poised to frighten and inimidate, but there was something more to him. He was a sentimental lost soul who had seen some ugliness and heartbreak, but shouldered it better than his two other compadres. He had found some happiness in a bittersweet world and didn't turn into the scary clown stereotype that Pennywise would so wickedly advocate.

So cheers to you, Chuckles! Thank you for helping to elevate the movie to something that's a little deeper than just a cute kid's cartoon.

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Yikes! McDonald's Recalls Shrek Glasses

McDonald's just announced the recall of millions of Shrek promotional drinking glasses after figuring out they were tainted with cadmium! http://bit.ly/amJ0QJ Being that Shrek Forever After is a children's movie, it's unsettling to think about how many kids drank their morning juice out of those glasses. And this time we can't blame China--the glasses were made right here in the USA. Funny thing, of all the gross green-colored products and foodstuffs out there (like booger-ish Twinkies), I would not have guessed some cheap glasswear would be the most foul. Boooo, McDonald's!

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Another dead celebrity?

This time it's Ted Koppel's son. Okay, so it's a near-celebrity death. But still, Betty White, check both ways before crossing the road.
http://bit.ly/ajXoYB

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Missing Teen Needs Your Attention

If anyone out there has seen 16 year-old Karmie McBride, please notify the authorities. This missing teen disappeared on April 20th and her family is missing her greatly.

http://amybrowne.posterous.com/missing-child-karmie-mcbride

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So, Sandra Bullock thought it was a good idea to make a sex video starring poop, Nazis, and a gun? Smart.

Sandra Bullock's life lesson: Never make a sex tape that involves using poop to act out your ex's Nazi fetish. http://bit.ly/bg8DvG

That's the word from some usually-reliable celebrity gossip sites: Sandra Bullock and Jesse James made a sex tape that involves some pretty graphic sex acts in the "out door", and (woe to my brain!) involves poop smeared like a Nazi moustache on the Oscar-winning actress's mouth, and a very unfortunately placed gun. Because I thought the low point of my respect for Sandy was after I sat through all of Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous. Touche, Ms. Bullock. Touche!

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The Quintessential "Will It Blend?": The iPad.

Hells yes! "Will it Blend" wasted no time, and now we have this spectacular video as a result. Unbelievably awesome!  http://bit.ly/civKQS

I love that first, the good professor over at "Will It Blend?" pointed out that the cumbersome size of the iPad doesn't allow it to fit in a blender. As a side note, I'll offer here a prediction that in decades to come we will look back at this piece of hardware as an example of ridiculous oversized technology, much in the way we now absorb the notion of cell phones that had spiral cords linked to a large brief case, and the super computers of the 1970s that inspired WOPR and Joshua. But I digress, our brilliant blending professor had an easy fix for the bulky girth: Smash it on the side of the blender until you can fold it in half!

That alone was nearly my favorite part of the video! But the blending was also remarkably satisfying, dreaming of the thousands of fanboys out there silently weeping against their computer monitors, wishing they had this technological equivalent of a novelty jumbo pencil (look ma, I can take a phone, and make it jumbo size!).

Did it blend? Not to spoil the ending for you--but yes, it did. And it was magnificent.

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Mahalo has a new Q&A site JUST for iPad Info! Oooooh!

For those of us who love fast, kickin' answers and can't get enough iPad info, Mahalo has just launched a fab new site. The questions and answers are all user-generated, and if it's anything like mahalo.com, this is going to be one sharp community. Def worth checking out iPeaster.

www.ipad-answers.com

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Muppets Monster Bunny Sings "Stand By Me"

It's one of the most macabre song numbers I've ever seen from the Muppets--and probably also the most hilarious. Such an ironic song, at an ironic time of year (the Muppets monster is trying to pass himself off as a bunny). What a sickly darkly hilarious video. What a great way to start the weekend!

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Live Oscar Coverage on Mahalo

Sweeeet live Oscar Coverage found here. Because you know you need a play-by-play to squeeze the most smack-talk out of each plucked Barbie doll eyelash bat: http://bit.ly/PafWQ

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The Griswolds are Back!

I've never lost faith in Chevy Chase, and thusly I am very proud and excited for the new mini "Vacation Movie" that has just been released by homeaway.com. Clips of it are being used for the Super Bowl...as if anyone cares about sweaty grunting men with sagging nylon pants running around a field. I'm in it for the 'mercials, and this one has a very, very special place in my heart. I think the only disappointment with this whole ad is...what is wrong with Rusty? He's clearly the same "kid" from European Vacation, and yikes! Age has beat him head to toe with an ugly stick and then ran over him with the homely bus.
http://bit.ly/9ldpmw

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